He Leads Me...
Monday, October 16, 2006 at 1:00AM 
God's intimate love and personal attention to detail never fail to amaze and overwhelm me. A number of years ago I went forward at a meeting where the speaker was speaking words of insight and wisdom to each person. I had just come off of a speaking event and I was both elated and exhausted. God moved in powerful ways and I was profoundly tired.
I wasn't prepared for what I was about to hear and those words would affect me for a long time to come.
I was hoping for exhortation or encouragement in my walk of faith. Instead I received words that embarassed and humiliated me. To make matters worse, none of what he said resonated with me. Now this precious saint is human and God has used him in huge ways, but in my case, he was off or his mind was elsewhere and I was deeply affected by it all. I never wanted to put myself in this position again.
I enjoy hours in the Lord's presence during my own private prayer times. I love it when God speaks to me there. On the rare occasion that I get to attend a conference, I like to blend in and soak in as much as I can. Now mind you, my desire to blend has had more to do with self protection than humility, but I do want all of God I can handle.
This past week I attended the International Healing Conference. I was blessed to attend a luncheon for pastors and those in full-time ministry. Heidi Baker was the speaker and I tell you, I have never met a more Christ-like soul. This woman lives as a missionary in Africa and so far has adopted five thousand children and has loved them into the Kingdom of God.
Her testimony blew me away. I found myself begging God for her kind of radical faith and tenacity. At the end of her message the host stepped up to the platform and said, "Please don't grab for Heidi, let her pass by; she needs her rest for tonight."
There I stood, in a crowd of three hundred people, with my head bowed. I looked up to see Heidi standing directly in front of me. She grabbed my shoulders, planted a wet kiss on my cheek and wrapped me in a warm hug. She prayed a short prayer and smiled at me again. Then she walked away.
I put my hand to my cheek and was just stunned. I walked out to the car with my friend. I buckled my seatbelt and then broke down and cried. I sobbed and sobbed.
Jesus knew I couldn't keep hiding, but He also knew what would bless me beyond words. I once felt publicly embarassed and humiliated, this time I felt blessed and honored.
Each day of the conference I was surprised and overwhelmed by the intimate and personal ways God ministered to me as if I was the only one there. So much more happened than I am able to share here, but the thing I will say is that He knows my name, and He knows yours.
He knows your address, He knows what makes you afraid, and He knows what makes you want to hide. He is gentle and loving and kind and true. So much so, that He parts the waters or the crowds just to bring you a miracle to remind you He's there.
He leads us to the heights, through our fears, and into places of promise.
May we follow Him all the days of our lives!
Reader Comments (5)
As I read your words, I could just feel the Holy Spirit.The past few years the Lord has become so much bigger and more powerful to me.After reading your blog, He expanded even bigger still.I now realize I have not come close to touching His robe. Your words have inspired me in a big way.It's driving me to go deeper and expect more.I can't wait to go homeand spend even more time with Him.He knows my address!!!I am no longer hoping fora miracle.....I am expecting one!!!
Thank you for being brave,You have inspired me once again!
Love you friend,Daryl
Karlie-girl, you have such big faith for such a little girl! Remember that moment when you removed your hearing aid and could hear? That's a sign of things to come. You always make me smile and I love you so.
Krissy, what a treasure it was to stand with you on behalf of your girls. You have four amazing children. May God work miracles in your midst! Love you, babe.
Daryl, my dear girlfriend. You always seem to forget that you are the one who challenges me! I guess we do that for each other. May you go from strength to strength. I love you, friend.
What an amazing glimps of what your conference held. Thank you so much for sharing it! It blesses me to hear how God used Heidi to reach out to you physically. She truly was, "Jesus with skin on" in that precious moment. What a sweet encounter of the love and care He has for you. And to be reminded that He knows me so spacificly and intimatly...it inspires me and humbles me at the same time. Bless you, Susie.
Andie