In Your Corner...
Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at 5:33AM 
Greetings, Dear Friends!
And to those visiting I say welcome!
I post every Wednesday and my sole purpose is to nourish your soul along the way.
If you take the time to post on my blog in February, you may win a $10.00 gift card to either Caribou or Target (your choice). So drop me a note and say hi!
If you've ever attended one of my speaking events, you've no doubt heard me joke about my once strong willed child.
My middle son, Luke, spent more time in the corner than not; so much so, that if I wanted to be with him, I'd have to go visit him in the corner! I remember several times going to the corner, sitting down next to him, and striking up a conversation.
I always wanted him to understand, that though there were consequences for his behavior, I would always be in his corner, loving him, cheering for him, holding him accountable, and challenging him to grow into the man I knew he could be.
Well I'm thankful to report that Luke recently turned 20 years old and he is an honorable, godly, young man, with no traces of that feisty, strong-willed toddler I used parent.
God gave me a rich piece of wisdom when I was raising my boys and I would like to share it with you.
Early on in my parenting journey, the Lord spoke this to my heart, "Susie, remember the 25/75 rule: 25 percent of your communication will be correction and discipline; and 75 percent should be love, affirmation, enjoying life, dreaming together, and teaching them about Me. There'll be stages in your kids' lives when it seems all you are doing is correcting them, but it's especially during such times they need to know you're in their corner. If their particular season requires increased discipline, then increase your loving communication as well. You must never reduce your relationship to correction after correction; especially during the teen years; otherwise you'll lose them."
My topic this morning is twofold:
How we parent by the 25/75 rule...
And how we allow God to do the same for us.
Luke and I laugh now about how things were way back when he was young.
Shortly after he graduated from high school, he said the most amazing thing to me. He said, "Mom, I know I was a handful for you when I was little. And yet I never for a minute thought I would get away with anything. I knew you were right on top of me, never allowing me to make excuses for my behavior. But the amazing thing is that you never made me feel like I was a trouble-maker. Quite the opposite. You always made me feel like my dreams were too small and that anything was possible if I chose to walk closely with God. Because of you, I feel like there are no limits to what God can do through me."
Well, you can imagine what those words meant to me.
And though I so wish I would have made my boys eat more vegetables and I wish I would have done a better job at keeping their elbows off the table, I do know that by applying God's profound wisdom throughout my different stages of parenting, I now have sons who know that their dad and I are in their corner, and even more importantly, God is in their corner, and nothing is possible for those who walk closely with Him.
So how do you apply the 25/75 idea when you're parenting through the various stages of life?
Take advantage of the times when you're not correcting your child and fill those moments with laughter or insight. Talk about something funny you recently heard or recall a funny memory you have with your child.
Use those in-between times to affirm your child. Tell her what you appreciate about her. Point out your son's strengths. Dream with your kids and encourage their faith.
Ask God to make you sensitive to those teachable moments when you have a divine open door into your child's soul. God's truths are written everywhere! Use nature, hardships, sickness, or money as analogies and train your kids in the way they should go.
Tell them what you like about them. Tell them what's unique about them. Don't be afraid to encourage them in their growth (or weaker) areas.
Look for every opportunity you can find to speak faith, hope, and love into your child's life.
Life can be a rough journey, but if our sons and daughters know we are in their corner, and that God is too even more so, then they will will possess the Holy Confidence to be everything God intended them to be.
And now a word about your own soul...
If you feel that your relationship with God has been reduced to one correction after another, then you're not listening to everything He's saying!
The Bible says that daily the heavens pour forth speech. There isn't a language where God's voice isn't heard. The skies are filled with His mercies and compassion and His love is extravagant.
He is in your corner and on your side.
Yes, He will have to correct and redirect you on occasion, but always, with a voice of love and concern.
When you believe that He is with you and for you, you will also possess that Holy Confidence to be everything God intended you to be.
Remind yourself daily that YOU are the object of His affection. He loves you, He has dreams for you, and He wants you to know that NOTHING is impossible for those who take Him at His Word.
Until next week~
Reader Comments (24)
Thanks Susie,
Kathy
I look forward to seeing you at the Writer's Conference in May!
Congratulations on the release of your new book!
Dear bloggers - check her out on Amazon if you haven't already!
Even as we transition our guys into adulthood, I find that principle applicable.
As I talk to them about finances, careers, and marriage, I also need to be laughing with them and encouraging them.
I think I love this stage of their lives the most so far. :)
I'm glad God is using this little blog to bless you!
It's amazing how a little encouragement can go such a long way.
I'll bet your little girl grows up to do great things!
Bless you~
It was SO sweet meeting you face to face!
I feel like I've always known you. :)
You are right, parenting is a challenge. I'm thankful for the new mercies waiting at my door each morning.
Blessings to you~
My teenage daughter is home recovering from a painful virus. During her most painful time she mustered the strength to say these words:
"Mom, you are so different than any other mom. You allow us to get to know who we are even if we stress ourselves and make ourseves sick in the middle of it."
It's hard to untie the apron strings even when you know your child is struggling. Yet God is so gentle and kind to give back to us through our childrens own words.
It makes being in their corner so much more exciting, because we know that God has all the facts.
I love your parenting blogs. They are so authentic.
Thanks,Megan
Isaiah 54:13 "All your children will have God for their teacher - what a mentor for your children!" (The Message)
I've been praying that God will teach my children and ME. I feel as if He's given me specific instruction through you, so...Thanks!Chris
Thanks for stopping by.
Gee, I wonder what great thing your strong-willed child is going to accomplish?
She's blessed to have you as a mom. :)
How wonderful to hear from you! I was thinking about you just last week!
You are someone I'll never forget.
I so appreciate your heart for the Lord and your godly leadership of the women in your life.
Please, use anything that is helpful for you as you minister to young moms.
God bless you!
Wow! What a story! I love it!
Thanks for posting such a great example of God's faithfulness in your daughter's life.
God is always good.
Thanks for stopping by.
You know, the 25/75 rule is just a great goal to shoot for - but don't beat yourself up if you have a day when all you do is correct your little ones. Just use the next day to balance the scales by sitting on the floor with them and eating out of the cereal box together. :)Bless you!
I love the Message version of that verse in Isaiah!
You are equipped because you walk with the Lord and you're so engaged in the life of your kids.
I'm glad and honored that you stop by to visit me each week.
Bless you, friend.